Everyone has their fears. Today I was asked what was the scariest thing I had ever done. That prompted some good introspection. There have been lots of times when I've been scared, but only a few that didn't carry with them the adrenaline rush.
I can remember the trepidation that I felt the first time I did the brakes on my own car, questioning if I managed to get them bled properly and if the car would safely stop. I knew the fear of being alone in a rough neighborhood of a third world country. While I've not been personally assaulted, I have been in places where guns were pointed at my friends, and even been threatened in a dark parking lot.
Yet all of those just seem to pale in comparison. The absolute scariest for me is asking a woman out on a date. It sounds pretty dumb, but I am terrified of rejection or mockery. So taking that risk to ask someone, who I barely know, to spend time with me in the hope of getting to know her better is the most frightening peril I've experienced.
I'm sure that now that I'm single again, I'm going to have to fight this dragon many times. Alas, I don't know of a method other than cinch up the saddle and take it on at a full gallop. There is however consolation in that the effort is usually quick and even failure represents only some scorched pride.
Why it's so challenging escapes me. I'm unaware of any reason in my past for such sensitivity to this particular situation. Maybe someday I'll find out, in the meantime, it will always be the scariest thing for me to do.
