I don't remember signing up for this

So last night I was out doing something I never imagined I would have to do. I was standing in the middle of the women's section of the store; right in the bra and panty aisle with my oldest daughter trying to pick out new bras. To complicate the matter, in order to get everything done tonight, I've had to bring all her siblings along as well.

Can we say uncomfortable?! There are some reasons for this. Some maybe rational, others might just be me. You decide.

First, I had hoped to avoid having to wander around the women's underwear section to begin with. Although I had never given it much thought, I guess I had always sort of hoped that there would be a woman in my life to handle this for me. This means that with 4 daughters and no current prospects, I'm probably going to be repeating this scene at least 3 more times.

Second, as we're here, I have to admit that I don't want to come off as some sort of pervert wandering around in the women's undergarments. Yes, I've done shopping for ladies in the past, but it's always been with someone else at my side. Sort of a safety in numbers thing. My children just don't seem to fit the bill here. It might even be easier for me if we were the only one's in the store, but that just wouldn't be my fortune. There are several other ladies, some probably about my own age, doing their own shopping. I'm trying not to make eye contact...

Another reason that this is so uncomfortable is that I really didn't want to have to explain a few things to my daughter. "No, you're not a B cup and no, you're chest measurement isn't as big as my waist. Sorry, that 36B just isn't going to cut it for you." "No, you really don't need a push-up bra. Why? A push-up is meant to make your breasts look bigger, not something you need to worry about." "No, that one there with all the lace, fringe and matching g-string really isn't for a young lady." "Please pick out something that won't show through your shirt." (remember, I've got the whole gang listening in on the conversation too!)

In explaining to her about sizing, I'm having to admit to myself, and anyone else listening, that I know way more about the subject than I think I should. I don't know if I like the fact that I know how to fit a bra. Sure, it's really not that complicated, and the instructions are all over the place, but I suspect there might be something wrong with me being able to remember them. Some days I just wish I could be blissfully unaware of the complexities of life and only remember things like sports statistics!

At last, she has selected three bras that I'm comfortable letting her wear. When I shop, I'm normally pretty cost conscious. Tonight, I don't even look at the tags! I just want to move into the aisles where my discomfort can safely evaporate into general frustration as 5 children cycle up and down the rows pushing, running, bounding, touching, calling and fighting. You see, after all these years, I'm used to that. As a single dad, I'm a bit better at general rowdiness than I'm ever going to be in the women's intimate wear.

Sorry for all the quick posts in succession. I am in the middle of some deep cleaning around the apartment and these poems were some that I jotted down last year. They were sitting on my desk and one of the children managed to spill orange juice all over them.

Noodlers ink and the fact that they paper was quite heavy allowed me the opportunity to transfer these into an electronic form before they were completely lost. They were things that I sort of wanted to keep to myself, but at the same time, I don't have anything to lose.

Hope you enjoy.

Rebekah energetically bringing enduring kindness; always happy.

Holding

The scarlet light echoes off the ruddy brickwork,
Casting rosy pallor into the quiet room.
The setting sky emphasizing the fading mood.
Thus unshared, my day passes into lonely stillness.

Yet I do not find myself alone.
Shaken from a branch of imagination,
My minds eye beholds your elegant form
Clad in the garb of summer's heat.

Tantalized by your awesome visage,
I struggle to capture each pounding breath,
As if a sigh emanating from invisible lips
Has drifted gently over my neck and face.

The night fades into existence;
The hallucination becomes a swoon.
This phantasm clasping to my bosom.
With outstretched empty embrace.

Holding nothing but an amphoreous vapor,
I drift into the haunted sleep.
Comforted only by the touch
Of you nothingness in my mind.

Computer Usage

Control-ling the ultimate outcome when
Alternate circumstances have occurred.
Delete-ing all the unsaved work!

Command the computer's
Option when you must
Escape a frozen application.

Heartbreak

Once I thought I knew you,
but the adage of people being unchangeable
simply wasn't true.

In your confusion you sought another
who you felt would be better suited
and cast me away without a thought.

For my friend

This is going to sound strange,
but today I felt you;
Sitting with my arm draped
around an invisible shoulder and dozing.

I know it will never be
as we are from worlds apart.
Forever I'll be your friend,
deeply in love with who you are;
Eternally hoping for the someday
that you might understand.

Be my friend, a trusted companion.
Let me share the parts of your life,
the intimacy of two people
with lives forever entangled.

Good Day Today

Let me share with you some of the awesome that was today. As some of those who follow my tweets and Facebook feed know, my transmission went out on my van last weekend. Monday was pretty challenging as I tried to locate a mechanic willing to install a good used transmission that I located in a wrecking yard.

I was finally able to find someone quoted me a good price and the right amount of labor, so I dropped it off and rode with the boss during the week to get to and from work. Good thing he commutes past the town where I live each day!

So today, as we were getting ready to head to lunch, I get a phone call. It's the shop telling me that my van is complete. Couple of things made this really exciting news. The first was that I had gotten a phone call indicating that they had run into a minor issue that was going to require some replacement parts and could be delayed. So I spent the day yesterday trying to adjust my expectations for the weekend accordingly. Now all my plans are back on, good stuff! The second thing was that when I asked him about the total cost for the transmission and extra stuff I asked them to do (oil change, exhaust leak, etc.), he gave me a price that came in below what several places quoted me on labor for the transmission alone!

The day got better when we got to lunch. There is a wonderful restaurant here in Cincinnati (well Blue Ash actually) called "The Brown Dog Cafe". Now I know you're thinking it sounds kind of like a dive, right? Well nothing could be further from the truth. This is one of the finest places to get lunch ever. The kitchen is run by a real chef that takes pride in his cuisine, not some run of the mill cook cranking out meals from a stack of someone else's notecards. I've never had a mean that didn't sit well with me there and today was no exception.

They had a succulent cheese burger listed. A rich combination of smokey, sweet flavors was to be found in every mouthful. Nor were we subjected to some mass produced soggy bun, but thick slices of artisan bread. The same rosemary bread we enjoyed as an appetizer while waiting for our meal to arrive. 

Waited on by some of the prettiest ladies, our glasses were never empty. In fact, I can't think of a moment where I didn't feel as if our every need were just a wish away. It was our waitress that tipped my decision to the burger and not the gyro. While I was tempted by the tzatziki, I'm glad she made the recommendation she did.

Afterward we headed out to pick up my van and return to work. I couldn't have asked for a more amenable day. The sun was high overhead, yet a breeze kept the humidity and staleness from the air. Every breath was a delight.

Getting back to work, things continued pretty easy for the last part of the day. Not too unexpected before the big holiday weekend, but still a pleasant change of pace. 

At three in the afternoon, the next celebration began, although I wasn't able to participate until closer to four. In honor of one of the long time employees leaving the organization, the office threw what they call a "beer friday". It involves bringing in a large selection of adult beverages and those who can, participating and socializing. Your's truly doesn't drink, but I still got over and had a small bowl of ice cream whilst enjoying the lighthearted chatter.

Closing out at the office I headed out. In the back of my mind, I had been considering a bit of irrationality. As I pulled out of the parking lot, insanity took hold and I headed back to The Brown Dog. Upon taking my seat and reviewing the menu, I saw what I was there for. My prey would be the Chocolate Banana Bread (with Homemade Vanilla Bean Ices Cream) and a single scoop of the Strawberry Black Pepper Sorbet. There would be no attacking any normal dinner, tonight was about stalking the desserts I was too satisfied to challenge earlier in the day.

I wonder what the wait staff thought of this single diner, ordering two desserts was really doing. However odd they must have thought my request, the service was right up there with what I had experienced earlier in the day. Never was my water glass empty and my dishes were promptly cleared when completed. 

Leaving every bit as filled as I could have hoped for, I walked back to my van casually glancing through my emails on the phone. Imagine my surprise when the recumbent trike I listed on Craigslist received a response from the man who designed and built it. Not only does it look like I'm going to sell it, I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to put it in the hands of someone that will appreciate it every bit as much as I have. (There's probably a whole post about the acquisition of the trike and my decision to part with it which I'll have to write someday.)

Now, I'm at the library, with a handful of great sounding movies and the audiobook I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get without my van. Things seem to be going great and I couldn't be happier...Well, I probably could, you know, having someone to share with, having no problems at all, etc. Still, I'm in such a good mood right now, I don't care.

Hope you all have the best Fourth of July ever. I know I'm going to be trying to do the same.

Bert