I don't remember signing up for this

So last night I was out doing something I never imagined I would have to do. I was standing in the middle of the women's section of the store; right in the bra and panty aisle with my oldest daughter trying to pick out new bras. To complicate the matter, in order to get everything done tonight, I've had to bring all her siblings along as well.

Can we say uncomfortable?! There are some reasons for this. Some maybe rational, others might just be me. You decide.

First, I had hoped to avoid having to wander around the women's underwear section to begin with. Although I had never given it much thought, I guess I had always sort of hoped that there would be a woman in my life to handle this for me. This means that with 4 daughters and no current prospects, I'm probably going to be repeating this scene at least 3 more times.

Second, as we're here, I have to admit that I don't want to come off as some sort of pervert wandering around in the women's undergarments. Yes, I've done shopping for ladies in the past, but it's always been with someone else at my side. Sort of a safety in numbers thing. My children just don't seem to fit the bill here. It might even be easier for me if we were the only one's in the store, but that just wouldn't be my fortune. There are several other ladies, some probably about my own age, doing their own shopping. I'm trying not to make eye contact...

Another reason that this is so uncomfortable is that I really didn't want to have to explain a few things to my daughter. "No, you're not a B cup and no, you're chest measurement isn't as big as my waist. Sorry, that 36B just isn't going to cut it for you." "No, you really don't need a push-up bra. Why? A push-up is meant to make your breasts look bigger, not something you need to worry about." "No, that one there with all the lace, fringe and matching g-string really isn't for a young lady." "Please pick out something that won't show through your shirt." (remember, I've got the whole gang listening in on the conversation too!)

In explaining to her about sizing, I'm having to admit to myself, and anyone else listening, that I know way more about the subject than I think I should. I don't know if I like the fact that I know how to fit a bra. Sure, it's really not that complicated, and the instructions are all over the place, but I suspect there might be something wrong with me being able to remember them. Some days I just wish I could be blissfully unaware of the complexities of life and only remember things like sports statistics!

At last, she has selected three bras that I'm comfortable letting her wear. When I shop, I'm normally pretty cost conscious. Tonight, I don't even look at the tags! I just want to move into the aisles where my discomfort can safely evaporate into general frustration as 5 children cycle up and down the rows pushing, running, bounding, touching, calling and fighting. You see, after all these years, I'm used to that. As a single dad, I'm a bit better at general rowdiness than I'm ever going to be in the women's intimate wear.