Couple more items that I thought I needed to share. The top is a pair of socks I'm particularly proud of. The patter was designed for a much lighter yarn and an adult foot. This has been scaled and resized for my daughter. She loves the socks. I had so much fun with this pattern.

The mittens are a pair I created for when Jen gets here in February. Since she's from Australia, she's never owned a pair of mittens or any real winter clothing. This is going to be my contribution for keeping her from freezing to death. HAHAHA.

Knitwear

I've been told that I need to create a portfolio of the knit items that I've been creating lately. I tend to be pretty daft when it comes to ideas like that, so I've given away a number of items already, that won't be documented. Nevertheless, I do have the blog here and can put a few of the items that I've created in recent weeks as a record of less than idle hands.

The first piece shown here (modeled by yours truly) is a scarf I threw together out of some leftover yarn. The knitting group at the Erlanger library asks that in exchange for the time, you create a scarf to donate to "Scarf It Up" a local charity that distributes warm clothing to those in need. This will be placed in the collection barrel after the next meeting. Wonder if it will go to a UC fan. ;)

Preparations

She sits.

Staring into the mirror she thinks about the day. All morning and afternoon was filled with anticipation and the gala that night was enchanting. She's sure that the memory of this evening will grow sweeter with time.

Even now, in her mind she can see her reflection. Her hair carefully arranged atop her head. The beautiful earrings gently decorating her image. The creamy color placed so gently on her eyes and the full red of her lips. He hadn't exaggerated when he told her that she was stunning, the eyes of all those present seemed to linger a bit longer as she passed. Even the hostess seemed jealous at how much her presence radiated at the event.

If the wishes of young hearts come true, this certainly was hers. And now, at the end of it all here she sits. Staring and remembering. A heavy sigh leaves her mouth.

Slowly she reaches for her brush.

She places the soft bristles into her hair and begins to comb out her tresses. With each pass, she thinks about how nice it felt to be in his arms. If only he could be here now. Would that the brush were his fingers, making gentle waves through each strand. Her silken threads flowing past the smooth strength that was there in his hands as they danced.

Even now, she could remember as he leaned in close during the waltz and told her once more how lovely she looked. If he were here, between passes, he might lean in once more. His warm breath lightly tickling the stray hairs about her ears as he whispers his passion for her.

As she looks up from combing out her hair, she sees her hands. Her delicate fingers still tingling with the electricity caused by his touch. Even more romantic had been the way that he brought the back of her hand to his lips and lightly brushed them there in greeting. Had it been anyone else, that old fashioned greeting might have seemed out of place, but tonight, perfectly charming.

And to think, those same hands had guided her about the dance floor. His hands and arms became extensions of his will, indicating the direction and step she needed to take. There seemed to be no fear to be had there with him leading. 

Was she under his power there on the floor?

No. She remembered how with the merest glance, he had known when she wished to leave the ballroom floor. It was if he was reading her mind, because every moment she seemed about ready to make a suggestion, he was already performing the needed task. It truly was her evening.

Catching her mind wandering as she brushes her hair, she snaps back to her preparations. She has already cleared away the pigments from her face and eyes. Her dress has been carefully arrange back into the closet. Will she ever have the chance to wear it again? She certainly hopes this to be the case.

Her eyes have grown heavy now. With great care, she removes the first of the soft lenses from her pupils. If only those contacts could have captured the imagery from this evening. The soft candle glow at the table, the gay colors that adorned the room. It was all so perfect, it would be a tragedy for time to soften the memory.

Looking at the mirror with the other eye, she notices the color of her eyes and reflects on how dreamily his eyes stared into her own. Once more, she longs to have him here. She could lose herself in his eyes. They were smiling all night long and on more than one occasion, she was certain they flashed with passion and desire.

Placing the last of her evening routine into order, she rises from her seat in front of the mirror. She smiles one last time at the beautiful woman reflected there and slowly turns. One last time, her imagination takes flight and she imagines turning into his arms as he sweeps her off her feet. Placing her gently into bed with a kiss.

The great romance

Time has failed to dim those memories. I still feel every moment, every thrill. There was something so real about that very instant. 

Even after three decades, placing my experience under the microscope of thought, I find the time  before and after fading into blurriness. Yet that razor thin slice of day remains crisp.

Without the burden of responsibility and our own insecurities we celebrated life. Each day was a new adventure and we lusted after all that it brought. Our desire spilled over into our free time and on the playground we explored what little we knew.

Certain things were just given, we didn't question the reasons why. There wasn't any need to do so. In our case, we knew that the boys were supposed to chase the girls.

Was it siblings that put us up to exploring their own fears? Maybe exposure to similar events from media or our observance of the world about. It really didn't matter, it felt more like an instinct, something we knew we had to do.

So I chased and you ran.

I'm sure you could easily outstripped my own pace, yet all too often I found you a hairs breath outside my reach. It must have carried with it as much thrill for you as I experienced when I could almost stretch my arms to gather you in, because it happened frequently.

Finally darting in and about the playground, I managed to catch you. Surely you must have heard my heart leap within my chest. The flood of victory and triumph coursed unrestrained through my small frame.

On wings, together we ducked into the woods as the others looked on. In our innocence and joy, such a hiding place was only necessary to remove ourselves from the jeers of our classmates and the prying eyes of the teacher. Yet our fellows knew, just as we both did what was to come next.

Breathless and now out of site, I nervously placed my arms around your shoulders. Drawing you in, missing were any thoughts of the course of action. Unlike our awkward teenage years, thoughts of looks, bad breath, noses, even eyes, were absent from the situation. It was enough that I liked you and that I had caught you during the game.

Oh what marvelous times, it was simply enough to "like" you. Never in the decades that passed would I feel that emotional freedom. It was loving without the burdens now associated with "love". If asked, I know I would have denied any deeper emotional connection, saying such things were "yucky" but it was the most pure love that I felt for you in that moment. I never wanted to chase another.

So here, with my love, in this wooded spot upon the playground, I found myself holding you. Leaning toward your mouth. You closed your eyes. I don't suppose you remember that, but I do. And in the tenderest way, my lips pressed gently against your own.

There was no extended contact. No impassioned embrace where I held you to me. The instant lingered long enough for me to know you gently kissed me back.

I tasted your lips, still finding the hint of strawberry gloss. I could detect the scent of your shampoo from golden hair. And even the soft brush of your clothing against my hands was sensed.

As we broke away, we stepped back to the reality with giggles of delight. After all, we just kissed and were sure to hear about it for the rest of the afternoon. With the smiling effervescence of youth, you turned on you heel and dashed away.

Then I knew once again the chase was on.

Family

I was sent a video by my mom the other day. It was a "Eulogy" for a deceased husband and it was quite moving. The production value of the piece was outstanding, so I watched all the way to the end to find out more about who made it (hey, sometimes you get lucky and they include credits).

Well the only thing it said at the end was the same as my title for this post. "Family" but it did include a link. http://thinkfamily.sg

So I went to the site not sure what to expect and found that it was the Singapore page dedicated to improving the family unit. I was so delighted to see that they put together such a neat site for what I feel is a spectacular cause. See, to me, family should be the place that we feel loved and safe from the world. I like the idea of promoting togetherness and learning how to better serve one another in our families.

Not to say that people in bad relationships shouldn't leave when necessary and that every family is perfect. See there's this adage about throwing rocks when your home is made of windows. As a single dad, I don't have any right to tell anyone how to be a perfect family, since I wasn't able to hold my own as it were.

I'm just saying that in a world that seems to say because ideals are hard to come by we shouldn't bother, I think we need to embrace the loftiest goals. In my struggle to be the best, I might just wind up really good and that wouldn't be so bad either.

Thoughts from General Conference

First things first. I finally found a way of making sure I stay awake! I have to have my knitting with me and I can put in all the requisite hours of sitting still without nodding off.

Before you judge me too harshly, please understand I get plenty of sleep, it's just sitting sedentary for even an hour is hard for me to do. It's genetic, go to any ward where you find my father or uncles and you'll find them with their head on their chest asleep.

I like to hear the conference talks too. I usually grab copies and put them on my iTunes and iPod, so it's not like I'm not interested, it's just I can't sit still and listen for that long. Why can I sit through a 3 hour movie without difficulty? I don't know! I just feel horrible that it happens.

Actually to tell the truth, the thing that I worry most about is not the falling asleep, it's that I might start to snore and disturb those around me. I guess I should add that to the list of reasons that I really need a wife. That way she can sit next to me and periodically jab me in the ribs with her adorable elbow.

Anyway, there were some fantastic talks. Things that I really enjoyed hearing and things I'd like to implement in my own life. I was glad I was able to be there for all the sessions.

You know those people who can recite who said what and when during conference? I'm not one of those people. You're lucky if I can remember who spoke during any particular session. What I tend to take away are specific thoughts and feelings. I might remember themes or particular stories that stood out.

With the right prompts, I can remember a lot of detail, but just sitting here I probably couldn't tell you much of anyones talk. So don't expect a detailed synopsis of what was said or what it might mean.

What I did take away was the feeling that I need to think about the priesthood more in my daily life. I need to think about how what I do each day relates to my standing as a holder of God's priesthood.

We had a wonderful refresher course on pride during the priesthood session. Once again, I find myself asking what do I need to do in my life to reduce pride and selfishness. What do I need to change in myself to keep from lifting myself above others and follow the humble Savior.

I'm rededicating myself to scripture study with my family. At least one verse at a time we're going to get through the scriptures together. What I'm going to do is to let everyone mark my scriptures with our progress. We really need to get back into the habit of reading together and this will surely help. Couple that with tomorrow being the first time in a while when the children will be with me for FHE and the timing couldn't be better.

My personal scripture study is also going to continue, with greater emphasis on pondering what I read. Thinking of how it relates to me, how I can put it into practice. Those are things that I can do each and every day.

I also want to continue to work on gratitude and feeling thankful for all the things that I have. I really am blessed in my life. I need to make sure that credit is properly given.

It's now my bedtime, so I'll stop here for now. I'm sure there will be other things that I may add, or write about in another post, but this will do for now.

Miles per quart

So a few days ago, I'm headed to work when this riced out Honda gets onto the freeway. Normally I can ignore the little red car with the coffee can muffler, however this one had gone out of his way to make sure you noticed. And believe me, I've never noticed a rig like this one before!

Before I get too far into things, I should mention that I've driven my share of older vehicles. I'm aware that as they age things begin to happen. However I also know that certain things only happen because of abuse or severe neglect.

This number was spewing forth clouds of smoke. I don't mean that it was giving out a large puff every time the accelerator was pressed either. Remember the video game "Spy Hunter" when you would pick up the smokescreen? Clouds of thick grey smoke would cover the entire lane. Visibility in the murk was reduced it was so dense.

Now while I didn't spin wildly out of control, I can say that the breathability of the air did reduce me to a choking cough. I don't have AC in my van and so drive with my windows down as much as weather permits. I wouldn't be overly surprised to find out the particulate matter I was exposed to by this mobile nightmare will eventually lead to a terminal case of lung cancer.

Even worse for me, I was stuck, unable to pass or even switch lanes for over a mile! Thus was my innocent day destroyed by some ignoramus. I say so because it was inescapable for anyone else to not be aware of the vehicular hazard they were driving and fail to have it repaired.

My only consolation was to tell myself that one of two things are going to take place. Either the nut behind the wheel was able to successfully get his doomed Japanese wheels to a mechanic, or the engine seized leaving him hopelessly stranded! I mean really, I can understand burning a bit of oil in an older engine, but when the leak is so bad that you can measure your mileage in quarts of oil per mile, you've gone beyond reasonable.

Because you asked

Softly, so that my footsteps make no sound, I would approach. Gently, my hands and arms would encircle your waist, drawing you closer to me. Feeling like the luckiest man in the world, my mind would reel like an apprentice seaman weathering his first hurricane. 

Standing there, like two perfectly matched puzzle pieces, I'd lean my head towards the nape of your neck. With gentle caresses, my lips would find the curve there. Between kisses, I'd whisper the love that fills my heart.

Pulse racing, I'd work my way around your gentle form. At every moment struggling to maintain the intimacy created by two people madly in love.

Finding your face, my hands would be drawn impulsively toward your skin. With the lightest brush of fingertips, I'd make electric contact with your visage. Sweeping back along your cheek to find the silken strands of your hair.

The pleasure of the fabric of you hair flowing past my hands once again draws me in to you. The pools of your eyes have me drowning, not for air, but for the feeling of your mouth pressed against my own. 

Unable to stop, I move toward the soft lips. Time has stopped for everyone else, only we two are aware of any movement as we are brought into contact. There, we touch causing waves of power to flow through my being. It's as if I could command the universe at this moment.

We remain, arms closed about each other. Unaware of the world and it's cares, we continue, lips and mouths occasionally parting. Sharing together the pleasure of the moment with eyes softly shut.

After lifetimes pass in this position, we draw apart. Eyes locked in love. My heart overflowing with emotion. Eternities seem to crash into nothingness now that it's over, my desperation to again approach the infinite overwhelms my soul and once again, I have to kiss your lips and face. Showering you in the passion of my heart.

Scary things

Everyone has their fears. Today I was asked what was the scariest thing I had ever done. That prompted some good introspection. There have been lots of times when I've been scared, but only a few that didn't carry with them the adrenaline rush.

I can remember the trepidation that I felt the first time I did the brakes on my own car, questioning if I managed to get them bled properly and if the car would safely stop. I knew the fear of being alone in a rough neighborhood of a third world country. While I've not been personally assaulted, I have been in places where guns were pointed at my friends, and even been threatened in a dark parking lot.

Yet all of those just seem to pale in comparison. The absolute scariest for me is asking a woman out on a date. It sounds pretty dumb, but I am terrified of rejection or mockery. So taking that risk to ask someone, who I barely know, to spend time with me in the hope of getting to know her better is the most frightening peril I've experienced.

I'm sure that now that I'm single again, I'm going to have to fight this dragon many times. Alas, I don't know of a method other than cinch up the saddle and take it on at a full gallop. There is however consolation in that the effort is usually quick and even failure represents only some scorched pride.

Why it's so challenging escapes me. I'm unaware of any reason in my past for such sensitivity to this particular situation. Maybe someday I'll find out, in the meantime, it will always be the scariest thing for me to do.

I don't remember signing up for this

So last night I was out doing something I never imagined I would have to do. I was standing in the middle of the women's section of the store; right in the bra and panty aisle with my oldest daughter trying to pick out new bras. To complicate the matter, in order to get everything done tonight, I've had to bring all her siblings along as well.

Can we say uncomfortable?! There are some reasons for this. Some maybe rational, others might just be me. You decide.

First, I had hoped to avoid having to wander around the women's underwear section to begin with. Although I had never given it much thought, I guess I had always sort of hoped that there would be a woman in my life to handle this for me. This means that with 4 daughters and no current prospects, I'm probably going to be repeating this scene at least 3 more times.

Second, as we're here, I have to admit that I don't want to come off as some sort of pervert wandering around in the women's undergarments. Yes, I've done shopping for ladies in the past, but it's always been with someone else at my side. Sort of a safety in numbers thing. My children just don't seem to fit the bill here. It might even be easier for me if we were the only one's in the store, but that just wouldn't be my fortune. There are several other ladies, some probably about my own age, doing their own shopping. I'm trying not to make eye contact...

Another reason that this is so uncomfortable is that I really didn't want to have to explain a few things to my daughter. "No, you're not a B cup and no, you're chest measurement isn't as big as my waist. Sorry, that 36B just isn't going to cut it for you." "No, you really don't need a push-up bra. Why? A push-up is meant to make your breasts look bigger, not something you need to worry about." "No, that one there with all the lace, fringe and matching g-string really isn't for a young lady." "Please pick out something that won't show through your shirt." (remember, I've got the whole gang listening in on the conversation too!)

In explaining to her about sizing, I'm having to admit to myself, and anyone else listening, that I know way more about the subject than I think I should. I don't know if I like the fact that I know how to fit a bra. Sure, it's really not that complicated, and the instructions are all over the place, but I suspect there might be something wrong with me being able to remember them. Some days I just wish I could be blissfully unaware of the complexities of life and only remember things like sports statistics!

At last, she has selected three bras that I'm comfortable letting her wear. When I shop, I'm normally pretty cost conscious. Tonight, I don't even look at the tags! I just want to move into the aisles where my discomfort can safely evaporate into general frustration as 5 children cycle up and down the rows pushing, running, bounding, touching, calling and fighting. You see, after all these years, I'm used to that. As a single dad, I'm a bit better at general rowdiness than I'm ever going to be in the women's intimate wear.

Sorry for all the quick posts in succession. I am in the middle of some deep cleaning around the apartment and these poems were some that I jotted down last year. They were sitting on my desk and one of the children managed to spill orange juice all over them.

Noodlers ink and the fact that they paper was quite heavy allowed me the opportunity to transfer these into an electronic form before they were completely lost. They were things that I sort of wanted to keep to myself, but at the same time, I don't have anything to lose.

Hope you enjoy.

Rebekah energetically bringing enduring kindness; always happy.

Holding

The scarlet light echoes off the ruddy brickwork,
Casting rosy pallor into the quiet room.
The setting sky emphasizing the fading mood.
Thus unshared, my day passes into lonely stillness.

Yet I do not find myself alone.
Shaken from a branch of imagination,
My minds eye beholds your elegant form
Clad in the garb of summer's heat.

Tantalized by your awesome visage,
I struggle to capture each pounding breath,
As if a sigh emanating from invisible lips
Has drifted gently over my neck and face.

The night fades into existence;
The hallucination becomes a swoon.
This phantasm clasping to my bosom.
With outstretched empty embrace.

Holding nothing but an amphoreous vapor,
I drift into the haunted sleep.
Comforted only by the touch
Of you nothingness in my mind.

Computer Usage

Control-ling the ultimate outcome when
Alternate circumstances have occurred.
Delete-ing all the unsaved work!

Command the computer's
Option when you must
Escape a frozen application.

Heartbreak

Once I thought I knew you,
but the adage of people being unchangeable
simply wasn't true.

In your confusion you sought another
who you felt would be better suited
and cast me away without a thought.

For my friend

This is going to sound strange,
but today I felt you;
Sitting with my arm draped
around an invisible shoulder and dozing.

I know it will never be
as we are from worlds apart.
Forever I'll be your friend,
deeply in love with who you are;
Eternally hoping for the someday
that you might understand.

Be my friend, a trusted companion.
Let me share the parts of your life,
the intimacy of two people
with lives forever entangled.

Good Day Today

Let me share with you some of the awesome that was today. As some of those who follow my tweets and Facebook feed know, my transmission went out on my van last weekend. Monday was pretty challenging as I tried to locate a mechanic willing to install a good used transmission that I located in a wrecking yard.

I was finally able to find someone quoted me a good price and the right amount of labor, so I dropped it off and rode with the boss during the week to get to and from work. Good thing he commutes past the town where I live each day!

So today, as we were getting ready to head to lunch, I get a phone call. It's the shop telling me that my van is complete. Couple of things made this really exciting news. The first was that I had gotten a phone call indicating that they had run into a minor issue that was going to require some replacement parts and could be delayed. So I spent the day yesterday trying to adjust my expectations for the weekend accordingly. Now all my plans are back on, good stuff! The second thing was that when I asked him about the total cost for the transmission and extra stuff I asked them to do (oil change, exhaust leak, etc.), he gave me a price that came in below what several places quoted me on labor for the transmission alone!

The day got better when we got to lunch. There is a wonderful restaurant here in Cincinnati (well Blue Ash actually) called "The Brown Dog Cafe". Now I know you're thinking it sounds kind of like a dive, right? Well nothing could be further from the truth. This is one of the finest places to get lunch ever. The kitchen is run by a real chef that takes pride in his cuisine, not some run of the mill cook cranking out meals from a stack of someone else's notecards. I've never had a mean that didn't sit well with me there and today was no exception.

They had a succulent cheese burger listed. A rich combination of smokey, sweet flavors was to be found in every mouthful. Nor were we subjected to some mass produced soggy bun, but thick slices of artisan bread. The same rosemary bread we enjoyed as an appetizer while waiting for our meal to arrive. 

Waited on by some of the prettiest ladies, our glasses were never empty. In fact, I can't think of a moment where I didn't feel as if our every need were just a wish away. It was our waitress that tipped my decision to the burger and not the gyro. While I was tempted by the tzatziki, I'm glad she made the recommendation she did.

Afterward we headed out to pick up my van and return to work. I couldn't have asked for a more amenable day. The sun was high overhead, yet a breeze kept the humidity and staleness from the air. Every breath was a delight.

Getting back to work, things continued pretty easy for the last part of the day. Not too unexpected before the big holiday weekend, but still a pleasant change of pace. 

At three in the afternoon, the next celebration began, although I wasn't able to participate until closer to four. In honor of one of the long time employees leaving the organization, the office threw what they call a "beer friday". It involves bringing in a large selection of adult beverages and those who can, participating and socializing. Your's truly doesn't drink, but I still got over and had a small bowl of ice cream whilst enjoying the lighthearted chatter.

Closing out at the office I headed out. In the back of my mind, I had been considering a bit of irrationality. As I pulled out of the parking lot, insanity took hold and I headed back to The Brown Dog. Upon taking my seat and reviewing the menu, I saw what I was there for. My prey would be the Chocolate Banana Bread (with Homemade Vanilla Bean Ices Cream) and a single scoop of the Strawberry Black Pepper Sorbet. There would be no attacking any normal dinner, tonight was about stalking the desserts I was too satisfied to challenge earlier in the day.

I wonder what the wait staff thought of this single diner, ordering two desserts was really doing. However odd they must have thought my request, the service was right up there with what I had experienced earlier in the day. Never was my water glass empty and my dishes were promptly cleared when completed. 

Leaving every bit as filled as I could have hoped for, I walked back to my van casually glancing through my emails on the phone. Imagine my surprise when the recumbent trike I listed on Craigslist received a response from the man who designed and built it. Not only does it look like I'm going to sell it, I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to put it in the hands of someone that will appreciate it every bit as much as I have. (There's probably a whole post about the acquisition of the trike and my decision to part with it which I'll have to write someday.)

Now, I'm at the library, with a handful of great sounding movies and the audiobook I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get without my van. Things seem to be going great and I couldn't be happier...Well, I probably could, you know, having someone to share with, having no problems at all, etc. Still, I'm in such a good mood right now, I don't care.

Hope you all have the best Fourth of July ever. I know I'm going to be trying to do the same.

Bert

OUCH!

I managed to bruise my right ring finger knuckle. Although the story behind the bruise is far more interesting than the bruise itself. 

I was having a dream early this morning that I was in a library with one of my aunts. Why we were there I can't remember, I just know I was doing some sort of homework. It required my going out to get my laptop from the rental car.

So I go out the door and into the parking lot and wander around trying to find where we had parked. When I finally locate the vehicle I climb in and drive around the lot, trying to get a parking spot closer to the building. 

I finally locate a space and after a very poor parking job, get out. At this point I realized that I could move the car into position by lifting and rolling it.

At this point a very tall guy comes over and begins to show off, lifting the car off the ground with both hands. I start to reprimand him that he should lay off what he's doing. He looks at me and says, "You shouldn't have said anything!". At which point he starts to bang the car up and down.

I'm furious that he's in the process of damaging the car, so after a brief though about whether I could take this guy, I decide to punch him right in the jaw. I swung with my right hand and outside the dream, my fist slammed into the metal post of the headboard. At which point I snapped wide awake realizing what I had done. What a weird night! That'll teach me not to fight even in my dreams!

Thoughts on Hamfest

So this was my third year at the Dayton Amateur Radio convention. The way that I know it was number three is that I have three hats now from Yaesu. I have to admit that it's a great way to keep track of the time and attendance. I'm sort of looking forward to getting another next year.

Back to my thoughts. This year was stupendous. Certainly not for all the great stuff that I bought, because the only things I walked away with were books this year. I'll tell you a bit more about those in just a bit. No what made the event really great was the number of displays, stalls and exhibits to see.

In the past, there were certain locations that just felt downright crowded. Especially in locations inside the building, spots that you just couldn't even walk through. This year though, there was so much more to see, that even though the attendance was certainly the same if not higher, it was more spread throughout the event. During the final raffle and awards ceremony, they said they were within a dozen stalls of selling out the indoor exhibit halls. That's impressive!

I also saw a lot of people younger than myself. Now I'm not that old, it would be a leap not just a stretch to call me an old man, but the twenty somethings in the crowd just seemed more prevalent this year. To me that's a great indicator of a healthy hobby. In the same vein, there seemed to be fewer booths dedicated to selling junk that only slightly related to ham radio. If you've ever been to a flea market you know the ones I mean, they're filled with the cheap plastic toys, knockoff electronics and other goods imported from who knows where. Instead, I saw new companies with new products.

Some of the things that were really impressive:

• The new FTM-350 from Yaesu (Bluetooth, Stereo, and a Line-In this might be my replacement for the regular car radio when I upgrade)
• Linear Amplifiers - Sure there were the standby's from Yaesu, et. al. but there were a couple other booths that were there representing smaller companies as well. Very nice!
• New 22o MHz 50W mobile radio from Jetstream. Talk about a niche in need of being filled. Time to get on some of those underutilized repeaters.
• The keys from Begali. I loved the bug and single lever key. Also impressive to see the receiver.
• The AMSAT booth was great. It was so much fun to hear about what they're working on next.
• I'm sure I'm forgetting a whole slew of things as well.

The flea market caught just as much of my attention. The boat anchors were out in force. I don't know that I've ever seen so much Drake gear in a single place before. I think there was at least one pair of Drake radios on every aisle. Drakes weren't the only older tube equipment though, there was plenty of Heathkit, Collins, Hammarlund, National and others. Not really something I was shopping for, but something that just sort of stood out to me.

The flea market had a new addition as well. There were benches that were scattered throughout with flags indicating rest areas. I spent my whole day Friday on my feet, but it was nice to know that if I wanted to, I could quite easily have stopped for a break.

In terms of complaints, I can only think of two and these are so minor they almost don't warrant mention. The first is that I got my annual sunburned nose. You would think that I would know better after all these years, yet I still manage to cook my sniffer. The second was during the awards ceremony. One of the ladies, a young blonde, working the Jetstream booth was quite lovely and while she was working on the step-stool taking down the display in shorts and a tee she presented the prettiest distraction. If they called my number during that period, I most certainly did not hear it. It would have been nice to get her name and find out if she was single, but the booth staff headed out well before I could catch up.

All in all, it was a great event. I was happy to be there. I am looking forward to next year.

An amazing night

It's rather late for me but I want to make sure I record a few of my thoughts about the simply incredible afternoon that I enjoyed. This area was blessed by a visit from the Saints Unified Voices Choir directed by Gladys Knight. Yes, that Gladys Knight.

Tickets were limited to the two performances, one at 17:30 the other at 20:00. I was pleased to be attending the 17:30 session and had been in anticipation for the better part of the day. You know how they say the expectation of something can be more thrilling than the actual event? That was most certainly not the case tonight!

If the choir is in your area, ignore the warning about arriving 45 minutes early, if you want good seats, plan for 70 minutes or more. By the time I got in line, it was already wrapped half way around the building. Of course I might have had better fortune had I not left the ticket sitting in my van. DOH! A tiring jog later, had me waiting in the spring sun.

I still maintain that the weather right now is about perfect for me. Still, mulling about in a queue with the rays penetrating into the skin was enough to bring, not so refreshing, drops to the surface of my head and arms. Likely there was several thousand dollars to be made by an entrepreneur selling almost anything cold and refreshing. I say almost anything because you should know this took place at a Mormon meetinghouse and alcoholic beverages and iced coffee would likely be frowned upon.

After a lengthy wait, the entry line began to move forward. Only to halt moments later. Then it would slowly advance a few more paces and stop. It was like they were seating people one at a time. Talk about setting the stage with anticipation...

Once I got into the building and made my way into the seating area, I was pleased to find the interior well air conditioned and the metal seats quite pleasant. The area I managed to sit in was about half way back, just far enough behind the big screen that both the front of the building and the screen could be easily viewed from my perch.

The program began a short while later with some opening remarks and an introduction to the participants. We were then honored with a parade of the members passing from back to front in an entrance worthy of a parade. After the choir seated themselves up front, Sister Knight also entered from the rear. Probably the nicest thing that could have been done to those who were the slowest in entering the building. (scriptural perhaps...the last being first, and first being last?) Her entrance was greeted with the happiest of applause.

For those of you unfamiliar with LDS worship, applause is not something often heard from a congregation, so this was already unfamiliar, but welcome territory.

Sister Knight proceeded to the front and took up her position just before the musicians exploded into song. The rowdy beats and soulful melodies were surprising to many of us in the audience. Certainly nothing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

As the choir ranged from one gospel song to the next, praising our Father in Heaven and his son, Jesus Christ, a pattern began to emerge. We were being introduced to the testimony and feelings of this wonderful woman. Her love and passion for her beliefs were being expressed through this vastly different music.

Again, I remind the reader, that the gospel hymns and old spirituals are not common fare during Latter Day Saint Sacrament meetings. So while it was new and somewhat unexpected, it was also very welcome. It's not often that someone allows you to glimpse deep into their soul about what they so strongly feel.

Gladys took us on that journey. Her choir supporting her through it all. Each of the members based on appearance from wildly differing backgrounds and races. They represented her vision of what the gospel of Jesus Christ is really about.

At the end of the program, she then took a moment to share with the attendees her feelings about the Mormon church. She shared a heartfelt story about how her children introduced her to the church and her first experience with LDS missionaries. She shared most of all how much it meant to her that she was able to find out for herself how this church was not what she had heard, inviting all there to find out for themselves.

Her presentation was happy and full of energy. It left people with visions and hopes for the future of the human race. The positive message encouraging everyone to love their brothers and sisters. Which meant everyone, because, as she put it "We are all children of God".

I am certain that given the opportunity to go, you will find yourself moved in new and unexpected ways. The whole program has been touring across the country and I would hope everyone would get the opportunity to view this stupendous presentation. Sometimes things such as this can get very preachy, but Sister Knight has such a wonderful spirit that the feeling of a sermon being given just isn't there, yet she is clear in her testifying of what she believes.

It is in continuing awe that I am writing this now and surely I'll continue to feel this way well into the weekend. To say that I had a good time, would be to understate the impact all this afternoon has had on me. If it were possible, I would ensure that I have plenty of experiences such as this one in my life.

Do you think I had an amazing night?

Thoughts on the day

I've decided that about 82 degrees is just about perfect for me if it's going to be warm out. That's the sort of day that we have out here. Let me try and paint the picture of what it felt like when I went to lunch.

My van was parked in the cool shade of the building, so climbing in wasn't the oppressive blast a day like today can impart to the sealed oven of a vehicle interior. Donning my driving eyewear (sunglasses) I rolled the windows down to enjoy the fresh feeling that seems to dwell all about.

As I started off, I was immediately struck by how clear everything seemed. There was the slightest hint of flowering carried on the warm breeze. There was a longing to be a snake so that each of the odors could be tasted, savored, devoured. Or perhaps like the cats, walking quietly with my nose in the air detecting all the things that were about.

Soaring over head, drifting on the unseen currents were the birds. Their feathers spread, surely gleaning warmth and comfort from the overhead sun. I'm sure their lives are filled with constant worry and hunger as they seek the next meal, but at the same time there's this aura of peace that as I muddle about life's mires I envy to a small degree.

The solar heat penetrates the skin, probably causing irreversible and painful damage, but it is simply a delight to feel. Unlike during a weekend filled with thunder and rain, the urge is there to sprint outside. Delight as a child in the freedom from cares in the overwhelming beauty of the spring day.

Days like today are a blessing. The weather lifts the heart and the soul. In admiring the majesty of it all, it feels simply good enough to be alive.

May your days be as pleasurable, and may you find yourself able to partake!

Sometimes it just catches up

Sometimes I think as adults we overlook the simple joys of childhood. I know one of the things that I wish I could do that my younger children still enjoy is being able to fall asleep and have someone carry you off to bed. It doesn't matter where and nobody thinks it strange to have a five year old nod off in the car.

Last night was one of those nights for me. I got home from work and went upstairs. There, on the bed, were the three boys. All three balls of energy stored in tufts on the comforter. They looked so doggone comfortable, I thought I would join them for a quick nap.

Well, my quick nap ended this morning at 5:30. And would you believe that the first thing that ran through my mind was to feel badly that I didn't get all the things done yesterday afternoon that I had planned? How ridiculous!

If I were 5 and had done the same thing, a parent might "tsk" a bit, but ultimately agree that "he was just really worn out". Nor would I have worried about the toys that got left out or my dinner that I didn't finish. There would have been the simple freedom upon waking of enjoying the new day.

What I'm hoping to point out, and maybe convince myself along the way, is that this duality of thought about our actions is really silly. There isn't anything significantly different between the need to catch up on a few hours sleep when I was 5 and now. It's probably even more important that I do so now, because I don't take the opportunity to do so as frequently. There's always going to be something else that needs to be done, that's not going to stop even if I were to cease sleeping entirely.

I should have celebrated that I was able to wake before the alarm. I should have enjoyed getting out of bed and looking forward to another day of fun. After all, the only difference is some 30+ years. Time has taught me a lot of lessons, but should it have lessened the value of enough sleep? I don't think it should. So the next time you feel like crashing, go ahead. If you want, you can give me a call afterward and I'll be happy to "tsk" a bit but remind you that you must have had too much fun and were just worn out.

My rant on the iPad

Why not, everyone else has been blathering on about this stupid thing, I might as well get my two cents in and a bit of press right?

Here's my position, I remember tablet devices. Sorry folks, my excitement waned on them over 5 years ago. You want to wow me? Give me a decent wearable and heads up display. I don't want to have to view things through a stupid touch screen. Can we say old hat?

When I heard that the device was going to be "magical and revolutionary" I laughed. No, I guffawed. Wanna know why? It's because it's all a lie, it's all market speak for we couldn't come up with anything better to tell you.

I remember another device that was supposed to be all revolutionary. You might remember it after I bring it up, but the hype has long since died down and nobody is that excited about them. At the time, it was a "sooper dooper seekret" and everyone was speculating what it would be. After all the inventor was a genius and even Jobs thought this would be a great thing. Have I triggered any memories yet? Cities were going to be built around this. It was going to revolutionize how we would get around.


If you haven't got it yet, it was the Segway. I've yet to see Segway town and the battery life was so abominable, that I could never have used one. I don't live in downtown environments. I've almost always had a commute of at least 10 miles.

I see the iPad as about as useful to me as a Segway. It would be an interesting toy. Lots of people will adopt and purchase them. But after a while, the excitement will peter out and that will be that. I don't think they'll vanish entirely, but I don't think the world is going to be revolutionized either. Segway is still in business after all, they're just nowhere near building cities.

As for buying into any of it, I considered an iPhone, but realized I'd be happier with an Android device. I want the hackability. I want the control. For a tablet, I'm holding out for the Notion Ink. Again, I want the freedom. I don't mind working around an interface. I work on Windows, Mac, Linux, Solaris, BlackBerry, iPhones, and almost any other device out there. I'm a quick learner and very capable. Sorry Apple, I'm not your target market and I hope you never think of me as such.

Let's go for a walk

When was the last time that you got out and walked anywhere in town? I couldn't remember so on Saturday, I decided to walk the day away. Here are a few of the things that I did and found.

I started out by walking to the optometrist. Dr. Bertram's office is just a few blocks away so it wasn't too difficult to do. The weather was gorgeous. Sunlight and a cool breeze were the perfect complement to the trip. I did learn that I felt much safer walking home with my eyes dilated than if I were trying to drive.

After spending a couple hours in my darkened apartment waiting for my eyes to recover, I headed out to the pharmacy to pick up some supplies for my new contact lenses. While I was walking I realized how nice it felt to stretch my legs and got to thinking about how simple it would be to do my grocery shopping this way as well. The total trip time to the pharmacy is less than a 20 minute walk, the grocery store would only add another 5 or so.

I felt so great leaving the pharmacy I walked 10 minutes over to the hair salon. Needing a quick trim, it also gave me the chance to try out the new sunglasses (2 for 1 at the pharmacy). I learned on that portion of my trip that several off the crosswalk lights in town don't work even if you push the button!

Sunday morning, I decided that I had ample time to walk to church. I headed out about 90 minutes early and discovered that I needed less than half that time to cover the mileage. It was during that walk that I found how peaceful things were when walking.

Overall, the weekend was a success. Slowing down and walking gives one the sense that there's no rush. A definite destination makes the trip much easier, but also allows the mind to wander in a way that's impossible to do when you're behind the wheel. Without the distraction of traffic, phone or radio, I could think about things, really pondering, looking through the microscope instead of glimpsing thoughts like snapshots from a moving train.

Phone Numbers

This morning I got an email asking me for my phone number. You see my friend recently updated his cell phone and hadn't gotten the numbers transferred from the old phone. So I started writing him back and realized, which number should I give him.

Sort of an interesting quandry. When I was little, I had one phone number. I had memorized my home number just in case I needed to get in contact with my house.

By the time I graduated from High School, I was up to 2 phone numbers. I had my home number still, but I had added a pager number (sometime I should write about how cool it was to have a pager watch).

During my mission, I added my first cell phone number. Suddenly, not only could people call my residence, they could call me directly. It also meant no matter where I was I was available.

Returning again to the US, I entered the workforce. That meant that in addition to the cellular and home numbers, I now had a number with an extension and fax number. Things were starting to get complicated.

After changing jobs a couple times, my cell phone migrated to an employer supplied cell. Ah, the vanity of it all. Now I had a phone that meant I was on call at all times, a phone with a direct dial to my desk (the extension was there as well if someone called the company), a fax number and the personal cell phone and home phone numbers. The only number no longer being used is the pager number.

Today, things haven't improved. The company where I'm at now, has a main number, my company cell, my direct dial, a fax number and a toll free number. All of which are appended as in my email signature line. I also still have my personal cell number and home phone number. In addition, people are able to reach out to me through Skype and a Google Voice number if they want to speak with me directly.

I think the only saving grace in all of this is the last number mentioned. My Google Voice. It has the ability to be programmed to ring all of the other numbers when a caller is attempting to reach me. Now, I have my concerns about using Google, but that's a post for another day, in the meantime. It's fantastic to have the ability to give out just one number, instead of more than a half dozen that have accumulated over the years.

To the cats

All of us were there,
At least those who share
This solitary abode.

I with a suspense novel
and you three bearing no device.

As I drifted in a world of words,
Two were at rest at my feet.
The third a ball at my side.

None of you know that while you slept,
I stopped my journey,
To watch you sleep
And was happy you were there.

Saved by a turkey

So tonight the person behind me was saved a ticket by the presence of a turkey.

The road from the local library back to my apartment is a rolling farm affair for the first half then it becomes a suburban business area for the other. The speed limit for the entire stretch is set to 35, and just as you cross into the business district, the road turns into a rather steep hill.

Tonight, I was coming back after picking up a few films and books, when I crested the hill. There in front of one of the businesses was a rather large bird. This time of year, it's not at all unusual to see Canadian Geese, but this one was different. At first I thought it was a peacock.

As I got closer, I could clearly make out the shape as that of a wild turkey hen. Of course I slow way down and am mesmerized watching this bird. It's then that I look up and see one of the communities finest¡ She had decided to set up a speed trap about mid way down the hill.

I am not prone to speed, I usually plan my trips with enough time to get to my destination early. Consequently, a speed trap almost never bothers me (aside from the fact that I think they're a waste of time and money). The one set tonight would have been no exception. However, because I was watching the turkey and slowing down, the person behind me, who previously was quickly gaining, was also forced to slow by my tail lights.

I'm sure that by the time they would have otherwise seen the police car, it would have been way too late. So tonight, whether they noticed the bird or not, they were probably saved a speeding ticket by a wild turkey. Who would have thought...

Question for the bi-lingual

Having served an LDS mission in Mexico (Veracruz to be exact), I became pretty fluent in Spanish. Now, some 10+ years later, I can still carry on a fairly decent conversation with someone. In the process though, I've discovered something interesting.

When I am focused on speaking with someone, mentally, I start to think in the language. This isn't all that unusual, I think it's the only way to really get into a language. The interesting thing is how it all goes full stop the second I want to express a thought for which I either lack the vocabulary or cannot remember the correct word.

Has this ever happened to you? Things are going pretty well, you understand everything that is being said and suddenly an idea pops into mind and you can't figure out how to express it. You struggle wanting to throw out a phrase or word in English knowing full well the person on the other side of the conversation won't have a clue what you mean. It's maddening.

I wonder how often this happened when we were children. As we were first learning our native language, how frequently did our own thoughts and ideas exceed the boundary of what we were capable of expressing. Infants, as they first learn and discover the world, surely encounter this frustration all the time. I know it happened with my own children when they were learning to talk and wanted to say something. Is that what happens when they babble? Is that how language is invented?

Another thing that I've found is that even after the conversation has ceased, the switchover continues for a bit. For example, last night, I had a chat with a friend in Chile. It was fairly late and before I go to bed, I'm in the habit of reading my scriptures and writing in my journal. So after making my farewells to her, I headed for my room. There, I found it was very hard to focus on the task at hand because I was attempting to mentally translate everything into Spanish as I read.

It seemed like every time I encountered a word or phrase that didn't translate things came to that full stop. Like there was a mental roadblock that kept me from continuing.

It's amazing to me how these things work. I'm just curious to find out not so much if, but how frequently this happens for people that speak or understand two or more languages.

Under the cover of night

I always wonder how strange I really am in comparison to other people. I'm probably not nearly as odd as I feel, but the philosophical question of how to judge that remains in my mind.

Take for instance the way I feel about sleeping. I have never really felt comfortable in bed without a blanket or something over the top of me. Room temperature is irrelevant.

For instance, when I was in Mexico, it would be so hot at night. My companion and I would both have fans running all night long in an effort to quell the oppressive weight of the liquid air. The feeble waves crashing against the seashore of one's person was most often futile. 

Despite this, I needed something against my legs. Usually it was only a top sheet and a thin woolen comforter. The sheet pulled up to my chin, the comforter folded like a newspaper draped over my weary feet. 

Invariably I would awake in the morning to find everything in a state of utter disarray, yet to lay in bed without those implements, was to sit statue still without even a hint of slumber. No effort to close the cameras to the world would suffice. Slide a thin cotton coverlet up, and the shuttered windows would invite the sandman to deliver his dusty load.

Why post all this? I'm not sure entirely, no doubt the thought has been haunting my subconscious since my post about the ABCs. The other half of the phantasm being I've only known one other individual to communicate a similar need. So is it unusual? Are there others with this same malady or affectation? I haven't a clue, but at least I can go lay down and pull the blanket up to my chin for tonight's respite.

An Ode to the Fountain Pen

If I were to share with you that I fix computer problems for a living, you would probably assume that I carry a pretty fancy cell phone, have a super fast computer, the latest video game system and am overall pretty geeky when it comes to technology. Well, you'd be right about the geeky part. I love to play with the latest tools and gadgets. Get me the latest widget gizmo and I'll be learning how it works.

What would really surprise you is that despite a penchant for the latest and greatest. There are some things which I'm so old school, I'm right there with the dinosaurs. My personal cell phone doesn't even have a camera and if you can manage to get me to answer it, you've been very lucky indeed. Even my morning shave is about as old fashioned as possible. I strop and shave with a straight razor. No electronics involved.

What I really enjoy though is picking up my fountain pen. I look forward every day to writing in my journal in no small part to this marvelous device.

My first experience with fountain pens was a calligraphy course in Elementary school. At that time I had a Shaeffer pen with a medium nib. I loved the effort and time it took to get the letters just right. However, life moved on and I put the pen aside, lost to the ages now I suppose (or my folks threw it away when I moved out).

I didn't think more of pens until about 3 years ago. I read and article talking about how handwriting was becoming worse due in no small part to computers and keyboarding becoming prevalent in modern life. At that point I decided I wasn't about to let that happen to me or my family. I set a goal to improve my cursive writing.

I started the road with a gel pen. I thought they were the greatest thing ever. The ink seemed so smooth. The pens were available in really cool colors. Then I discovered that they suffered from the occasional air bubble. Going dry in the middle of the page was frustrating.

Next step, the space pen. Contrary to popular belief, this wonder wasn't financed by NASA for Fischer. Fischer just came up with a very cool writing system that happens to work great in space and everyplace else you can think of. Downside there, thick ink. Think of trying to write with rubber cement. That's what it felt like. I loved the reliability though and kept it for quite some time.

Next I discovered the joy of a good rollerball. The ones I'm talking about are made by Staedtler. I could only find them in a few shops, but they came in a pack of four. The ink is liquid inside and flowed really smoothly onto the page. I thought WOW, I've found the last pen I'll ever buy. I was committed until my daughter's report card came in.

Her teacher indicated that she was doing well in all areas except handwriting. So I formulated a plan. Remembering my days of calligraphy (and Charlie Brown) I decided to get her a fountain pen. The liquid ink combined with a pen that needed to be held just right might help her to slow down.

It worked. It worked really well. When I tried the pen out, I was amazed. It felt so wonderful to use. It also made writing something special. I needed my own.

I started looking around and found that the prices for good fountain pens are all over the board. Some of them running into the thousands of dollars. I also discovered that inks were a hot topic in the fountain pen world. It was at this time I learned about Noodler's.

Noodler's is a small US based ink manufacturer. The owner was a fountain pen collector seeking to recreate some of the inks of the past. What he accomplished was so much more, coming up with inks that bonded with the cellulose in the paper, making them become part of the page. PH neutral and permanent. They were fantastic and just the thing I wanted.

I found Swisher Pens online and saw that they sold the inks in an eyedropper bottle with a simple fountain pen. It wasn't anything fancy, but for less than $20, it would certainly outlast the pens I had come to love.

I remember the first day I started writing with the pen. It was even better than I imagined writing could be. The flow and feel of the pen on the page, the slight feel of the nib, it was perfect. I was in pen heaven. Little did I know, I was being spoiled.

Fast forward to three days ago. I go shopping after work and when I return home, I can't seem to find my pen anywhere. I look high and low, even making several trips out to my car to see if it came off in there. That night, I was forced to do my journal entry with my former favorite pen. Remember how I described the feel of the Space Pen, now, my trusted rollerball felt the same way to me. I wondered how it could be possible, it was a very smooth writer.

That was the day I discovered that once you use a good fountain pen (even a $4 Platinum Preppy) with an even better ink, you will never want to go back. The sense of loss I felt was incredible. I needed my pen back in a way that is very hard to describe to those not familiar with losing anything of great value. I went back to Swisher and ordered 3 more.

The next day, I was back at work and walked into one of the rooms and there sitting on a table was my pen. Somehow, I had managed to wander about the whole day not realizing it wasn't attached to my shirt. It was incredible. I posted my delight to Twitter and Facebook. It made my day to have an old friend back in my hand.

Yes, things move on. I think oftentimes for the better. Every once in a while though, there are things that shouldn't be left behind. The fountain pen is still a very beautiful and reliable tool. It doesn't belong in the category of buggy whips in an automobile era. The written word is still the longest most enduring method of communication we have today. Even these words, typed on a laptop and uploaded to the world wide web will probably be long forgotten before the pen and paper cease to provide value to the world.

The ABCs

How do you feel about the ABCs? Maybe I should clarify by what I mean. When I say ABCs, I mean Afghans, Blankets and Comforters. Feel free to include quilts, throws and binkies. Actually pretty much anything that one would use as a stay warm covering. 

I can't get enough of them. I don't think a house is a home until there are enough blankets to keep away the chilliest night. Let me explain why I feel this way.

Aside from the obvious of piling them onto the bed when it's cold out, a cover is very versatile. Children are able to use them to construct elaborate fortresses and tunnels. They provide a barrier between the ground and the diner at picnics. They can be used as padding when you need to move fragile items. They're awesome for hiding underneath. Besides, nothing is more fun than snuggling with someone you love all covered up. In a real pinch, they can be used as a cover in place of clothing (something my children have figured out).

They make great gifts. Their versatility combined with cherished memories allows them to be easily justified as "keepers". What I mean is that there are afghans that were made for my by my grandmother that are heirlooms that get daily use. I wouldn't even consider letting one go and I don't feel bad about it in the slightest.

I've also been cold. I mean really cold. Subzero cold. A good supply of blankets and you can offset the chill in the air. They can be piled on or pulled off as needed. No electricity required. Once again, the warmth can also be easily shared by simply adding another body or two.

While Douglas Adams may have advocated the towel as an essential item for the traveler of the universe. I'll take my ABCs. I keep some in the car, plenty at home and love to give and get them as gifts.

Bert